Are you ready to listen to Usher climax, THG readers?

The sexy singer has released the first song off his upcoming album, and it’s got a titled alluring enough to make any fan swoon.

Produced by Ariel Rechtshaid, Redd Stylez and Diplo the track is now available on iTunes and all digital providers and will be included on Usher’s next CD, which hits stores later this year. Take a listen to “Climax” now, try to refrain from our kind of infantile humor and sound off: What do you think?

Usher – “Climax”

Welcome back to the first annual Tournament of THG: Couples Edition, where fans vote on the most popular celebrity couple in the entire universe!

The concept is simple: Pick your favorite of the two pairs in each poll. Done. YOUR VOTES will determine the winners of this tournament showdown.

After eight hotly-contested first-round battles, the quarterfinal bracket is set. Tuesday, Robsten took on JT and Jessica Biel in a #1 vs. #9 matchup.

Today’s contest: The President and First Lady of the United States, Barack and Michelle Obama, against upstarts Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.

The Gossip Girl and Safe House stars have their work cut out here, but they just knocked off Brangelina, so all bets are off. Cast your votes below!

 

Barack & Michelle

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Vote for Obamas

Blake & Ryan

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Vote for Rake

Which celebrity couple do you like more, Barack and Michelle Obama or Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds? Vote in this quarterfinal matchup now!

View Poll »

Bobby Brown and Chris Brown. Both controversial figures who share a surname and other attributes. Both R&B singers have found themselves in the news lately for unrelated, semi-scandalous reasons. Both frequent THG conversation topics.

Which Brown is best? Or the least terrible? Time for a THG Tale of the Tape!

1. CAREER ALBUMS SOLD

Bobby Brown: 20 million
Chris Brown: 12 million
Edge: Bobby

2. TWITTER FANS

Bobby Brown: 33,052
Chris Brown: 8,205,360
Edge: Chris

3. RAP SHEET

Bobby Brown: Felony battery, DUI, unpaid child support, parole violation(s)
Chris Brown: Felony battery
Edge: Chris

4. SWORN ENEMY

Bobby Brown: Condoms
Chris Brown: Haters
Edge: Chris

5. CURRENT PARTNER

Bobby Brown: Alicia Etheridge (above, left)
Chris Brown: Karrueche Tran (above, right)
Edge: Chris

6. CURRENTLY FEUDING WITH

Bobby Brown: Cissy Houston
Chris Brown: CM Punk
Edge: Even

7. BIGGEST HITS

Bobby Brown: “My Prerogative”, “Roni”
Chris Brown: “Run It”, “With You”
Edge: Bobby

8. COLLABORATIONS WITH LOVER/VICTIM

Bobby Brown: “Something in Common”
Chris Brown: “Turn Up the Music,” “Birthday Cake” remix
Edge: Chris

Chris Brown on Tosh.0

9. NOTABLE TV APPEARANCES

Bobby Brown: Celebrity Fit Club, Gone Country, Being Bobby Brown
Chris Brown: Tosh.0 (above)
Edge: Chris

10. RECENT FAUX PAS

Bobby Brown: Inexplicably leaving Whitney Houston funeral early
Chris Brown: Smashing GMA window, weekly Twitter rampage
Edge: Even

VERDICT: Chris Brown takes it, decisively, 6-2. Despite whatever flaws he has, his career is still on an upward trajectory. Even Rihanna’s recording with him again!

Lindsay Lohan, model citizen? Never thought we’d see the day.

The actress is kicking arse and taking names in the probation department these days. She got another glowing report from the judge overseeing her case this morning, and in one more month, could fulfill her requirements at last.

Judge Stephanie Sautner gushed, “You seem to be getting your life back on track!”

Sautner was impressed that for the third time in a row, Lohan completed her required community service and therapy sessions, saying “You’re in the home stretch!”

By March 29, she must complete her final 14 days of community service at the L.A. County morgue, and five more therapy sessions. If she stays on track, it’s over.

Well, mostly. Lindsay would then be placed on informal probation, meaning all she has to do is obey all laws … okay, not a guarantee by any stretch of the imagination.

Still, sources close to Lindsay say that while she was no fan of Sautner in the beginning, she now realizes that without her, she never could’ve turned this around.

It was Sautner who decided she needed structure and rode her hard every month, even throwing her in jail here and there if need be, until she got the message.

It’s working. Lindsay realizes the only reason new opportunities have surfaced – hosting SNL, starring in the Liz Taylor movie – are because people trust her again.

Keep it up, girl. We’ll sort of miss your monthly arrests, but good work.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

The journey of Rachel Crow on The X Factor may have ended in tears, but this 14-year old former contestant has a reason to smile today:

She’s nearing a deal with Nickelodeon to anchor her very own series!

“We are in the early stages now,” Crow tells The New York Post. “I want it to be definitely very ‘Rachel.’ Something that shows who I am and who I want to be.”

Simon Cowell, who served as Crow’s mentor during her X Factor run and expressed extreme disappointment when she was sent home, added in a statement:

“I am incredibly happy for Rachel,” Simon Cowell said in a prepared statement. “This girl has it. We saw her potential at the first audition and Nickelodeon and Columbia are the right homes for her.”

While the network that made stars out of Miranda Cosgrove and Amanda Bynes, among others, figured out exactly how to shape Rachel’s show, she’ll appear on multiple episodes of Fred: The Show as a character named Starr. Yes, folks, she’ll sing.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Apparently people watch Basketball Wives.

VH1′s erroneously named franchise keeps coming back, with a fourth (!) season getting the green light and set to begin soon on Monday nights.

Who’s starring this year? These nut jobs:

Here’s a brief rundown of the “roster” and what we can expect in a season that promises to up the drama like never before … eat your hearts out, Real Housewives.

1. Shaunie O’Neal, ex-wife of future Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal.

VH1′s bio: “Shaunie’s goal with her series was to shed light on the complex lives of the women who stand beside these larger-than-life professional athletes.”

“She’s here to show that it’s not all glitz and glamour … [She] is Queen Bee to the rest of the Basketball Wives, who swarm to her for advice and guidance.”

That is beyond sad. This is her fourth season on the program.

2. Evelyn Lozada, ex-fiancee of Antione Walker, current fiancee of Chad Ochocinco (an NFL player, not a basketball star, and soon to be Chad Johnson again).

VH1: “She is highly regarded as a fashionista … Evelyn is photographed not just because of ex-fiance’s game, but because of her own impressive ‘shoe game.’”

Whatever. Like Shaunie, she is an original cast member.

3. Royce Reed, mother of Dwight Howard’s son.

“Royce Reed is a firecracker, a strong-minded, driven woman who is no stranger to confrontation,” VH1 says of this returning full-time cast member.

4. Suzie Ketcham, ex-girlfriend of NBA bust Michael Olowokondi.

“Suzie knows the ins and outs of the ‘game’ and is extremely protective and loyal to her friends. If she senses that one of her ladies is being attacked, she’ll be the first girl on the scene ready to have their back,” VH1 says of this no-name.

5. Jennifer Williams, ex-wife of Eric Williams.

“Her mercurial relationship with Eric shows the unique challenges and hard work it takes to be the wife of a professional basketball player,” VH1 teases.

6. Tami Roman, ex-wife of Kenny Anderson.

A cast member since Season 2, “Tami has a string of acting credits under her belt and currently pays the bills with her day job as a financial executive.”

7. Kenya Bell, estranged wife of Charlie Bell.

The former Miss Michigan USA and first-time cast member is “an instant lightning rod for controversy within the group.” She’s also “opinionated.” Okay.

She allegedly stabbed her then-husband Charlie Bell with a box cutter in front of their two young children. Kenya blame VH1 for casting her? Sorry.

8. Kesha Nichols, former fiancee of Richard Jefferson.

Kesha Nicole Nichols and Kenya Bell are the two newbies this season, with the former ready “to speak her mind now that she is in the bright lights of the big city.”

Jefferson famously flaked last-second on his wedding to Nichols, leaving her standing at the altar in 2009. Yes, the NBA star was a runaway groom.

It’s been just two months since Katy Perry and Russell Brand split, but rumor has it he’s moved on already – with 25-year-old model and artist Oriela Medellin Amieiro.

“It was about 9:30 in the morning, and I saw them getting into a Range Rover,” a witness dished to Life & Style, which made Katy’s heartbreak its new cover story.

“She had obviously stayed over at his house because she was in evening clothes and high heels. She threw her head back and laughed – she was having a good time.”

Not having a good time these days? KP.

Katy Perry now wonders, according to a “lifelong pal,” whether Russell really was the “changed man” he claimed to be when they married in October 2010.

“I’m such a fool,” Katy recently confessed, allegedly. “I believed in him.”

Sources say that Russell Brand has been “on a tear” recently, partying, clubbing, coming on to women all over LA, a harem of babes that apparently includes, but is not limited to, the Mexican-born Oriela Medellin Amieiro.

“Russell is very flirty with the ladies,” a source says. “He gets a lot of phone numbers … all the women just hand over their numbers and he takes them.”

On February 20, Russell was surrounded by groups of women during his stand-up show at Largo in LA. “There were girls everywhere,” an eyewitness says.

“It’s very disturbing to Katy that he’s moved on so quickly,” the friend says. “She was just shocked to hear he was out partying again and trying to pick up girls.”

“It sickens her … she feels humiliated and burned.”

Mmm hmm. We have no doubt she’s still reeling from her divorce, like any girl would be, but she’s made it clear no “close sources” speak for her.

Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson are engaged on Glee.

But while portrayers Lea Michele and Cory Monteith might not be at that stage in their relationship, sources do claim these co-stars are dating in real life.

Onlookers tell Life & Style that Michele and Monteith spent Valentine’s Day together in Los Angeles.

“They were into each other all night,” a source tells the tabloid, adding that Cory fed spaghetti to his date that night. “She was very happy, flirting and touching Cory a lot. He just stared at her with puppy-dog eyes.”

Michele split from Theo Stockman in September and rumors of a romance with her fellow Fox actor first started in November.

“As long as I get to have scenes with Cory, it makes me really happy,” the actress said in the past of Glee‘s grueling work hours.

[Photos: WENN.com]

Bobby Brown, this may be your prerogative, but it’s a really bad idea.

According to sources in the publishing world, the singer was planning to pen a memoir about Whitney Houston a few years ago, but interest “wasn’t that great” at the time. Now, however?

“The market has changed,” this insider tells The Huffington Post. “Now is the time for a book that details an honest look into the life of Whitney.”

But there’s no way Brown would exploit Whitney’s death, right? Not when daughter Bobbi Kristina is suffering through such a tragic downward spiral, right?

“This is a man who left his ex-wife’s funeral because he didn’t like his seats and went to a paying gig that night,” a friend of Whitney tells the site. “He didn’t get on stage that night because he needed to sing his greatest hits or because Whitney would have wanted him to entertain his fans, he did it to get a paycheck – the same reason he now wants to write a tell-all book.”

Sadly, that’s a very good point.

When raging homophobe and Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum rolls into Cumming, Georgia, to a campaign stop, the puns are almost too easy.

Still, this headline, first posted on Buzzfeed, defies description:

For more on Rick Santorum, a real “family values” conservative who has shot to the top tier of the GOP race against all odds, just Google Rick Santorum.

It’s eye-opening, the etymology of the former Senator’s name.

Well played, Internet … and CUMMING headline writer.